


made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

by ifthebookdoesntsell



Series: and then maybe you'll remember me when i'm gone (that's all i could ever want) [2]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Regina George centric, but it's just the way we gotta go to make redemption realistic, listen i know this is so niche, the one with the waitress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25341757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifthebookdoesntsell/pseuds/ifthebookdoesntsell
Summary: "Maybe she falls as quickly as an anchor in an ocean, or maybe it’s a true slow burn: maybe there’s a new girl in town, a waitress at her and Damian’s spot. They trade names and stories, and Regina waits years to buy her a drink, waiting to see if she would start to judge her like all the rest in town. One day, maybe, the girl might take Regina to California to meet her family. She meets her mother and father, who are happily in love, her siblings, and, for once, Regina swallows her jealousy, her resentment, the echoes of her father screaming about God and duty, and instead, she breathes out, 'I’ve heard so much about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you.'"-i'm not afraid of anything (not a soul alive could get behind this wall)(Or, the what-if with the waitress, what she would show Regina, and how she helps her take the first steps in her pursuit toward learning how to love herself.)
Relationships: Regina George & Cady Heron, Regina George & Damian Hubbard, Regina George/Original Character(s)
Series: and then maybe you'll remember me when i'm gone (that's all i could ever want) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823953
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

**Author's Note:**

> back at ya with part two! it's definitely shorter than the piece before this one, but "not afraid" (as i've come to call it) is more of the masterwork and these are just little vignettes. i had some fun writing this, so i hope that y'all enjoy.
> 
> as always, stay safe out there.

Let us talk about the possibility of Regina George falling in love for the first time, what it would teach her, how it would help her, what she would find.

Again, it isn’t guaranteed that this happens, but let us suspend that reality for a moment. Let us imagine, for a moment, that this is one of Regina’s turning points, a way for her to change. 

Let us remember that the right people can help you grow, help you become better. 

***

Before Chelsea, Regina doesn’t believe that she is capable of love. 

She doesn’t understand what feels different in her chest the first time she sees her, but there’s something about her, with her chestnut hair and wire-framed glasses that intrigues her, makes her wonder exactly what the quiet curiosity in her heart is. 

Chelsea is new, working as a part-time waitress while finishing her first year of her master’s in education. Regina has just risen to senior reporter, and she feels brave that night with Damian and Cady when she asks her if she’s new, where she’s from. 

Chelsea laughs, adjusting her glasses and blushing under Regina’s pretty blue gaze as she writes down their table’s order. 

“I’m from an even smaller town than this,” she says, and her voice is smooth, perfect like words that are hot off the presses at the paper. “Not even on the map.”

(This is Regina’s first lesson. Not everyone has to come from somewhere or something big to make an impact.)

Regina ignores the way Cady is staring at her intently, instead sticking her hand out. “I’m Regina. Senior reporter as of this morning.” 

Chelsea flushes harder, and Regina grins to herself. She’s really learned how to use her words. 

“Chelsea. New waitress as of yesterday,” the woman says back, reaching out to shake her hand. 

They look at each other for a moment, and Regina feels an electric shock spread through her body, the hypotheticals speeding through her brain, whispering the word _maybe_ , over and over again. 

***

Every week after that, Regina’s favorite part (aside from the gossip she receives from Damian) is seeing the pretty woman, and, subconsciously, she puts a little more effort into her appearance on Fridays, striding in with practiced confidence. 

(She’s never cared what people have thought before. It’s new. 

She thinks she likes it, the trying.) 

Regina is careful around her, though, unsure of what she’s feeling and wary of the fact that anybody in town could expose her for who she once was. She trades superficial stories with Chelsea as they start to get to know each other, revelling in the times where she makes her laugh, sometimes bringing her articles just to impress her. 

It starts off as an easy friendship, one without the baggage of their pasts, but quickly, it feels like more. Chelsea will stare from the register, and Damian will poke her under the table, wiggling his eyebrows, and Regina will sometimes forget to order, just because she’s watching the way brown hair gets tucked behind an ear by long fingers. 

(Regina blames it on the fact that she hasn’t been intimate with anybody in a long time, hasn't had feelings in... ever.

It's scary to think she's handing part of her heart over to somebody who hasn't even asked for it.)

Regina refuses every time Damian tries to convince her that it would be a good idea to ask her out, citing several reasons like the fact that she’s still rising in the ranks at the paper, Chelsea is probably busy with work and school, and they both don’t need to complicate their lives. 

(Regina thinks it’s almost rude to interject into Chelsea’s life, her plans, especially when she’s not even sure how or what to feel.)

They dance around each other for a year and a half, and in that time, Regina finds out many things about Chelsea, enough that she could write an article about her, an exposé, if she so chose. 

***

 _It’s not love; it’s not,_ Regina tells herself each time she jots something new down in her brain. She’s just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for one of the girls from her high school to tell Chelsea the truth, about how she’s a horrible person, how she is cruel and mean and incapable of providing care for anybody other than herself. 

(It’s hard to unlearn these things about yourself when it’s what you’ve been told and been telling yourself for so long. Usually, Regina quiets the thoughts, but every time Chelsea looks at her with any sort of adoration, she feels like she’s unworthy of it.)

So she waits, and she waits, and she waits, thinking that somebody must be itching to ruin _Regina George’s_ life for once. 

But still, while she stands by for the ultimate ruination, she continues to fall tentatively, slowly, enough that she realizes that maybe her heart is capable of more than she originally thought. 

(Regina is absolutely terrified of that fact.)

Nothing has ever lasted for her, and the absolute fear of falling makes Regina want to curl up on her side of her bed, leaving an empty spot for the ghosts of her guilt and past to lie down next to her. Still, her mind drifts to the pretty brunette, her glasses, what she’s since found out about her.

Here are the things that Regina observed about Chelsea: 

_One._

She never raises her voice, and Regina thinks that’s quite beautiful of her. 

(Maybe it’s because of her dad, maybe it’s because she isn’t used to someone being so gentle, maybe it’s because words always sounded strongest to her when spoken clear and soft. 

Later, Regina is sure that this is the reason why she fell in the first place) 

Regina likes how it’s possible to know how Chelsea is feeling without her actually saying it, almost like you’re in her story and there are words outlining her at every turn, so much so that, if you look carefully enough, you might catch a glimpse of who she really is before she tucks them back into her pocket. 

Regina did always like words. 

_Two._

Chelsea wants to become an English teacher. She likes to write. 

(This is enough to make Regina feel like she’s falling harder, like maybe she doesn’t care if Chelsea knows about her past.)

_Three._

She knows when something is wrong with you, even if you don’t know it yourself. How you can tell her “nothing,” or “it isn’t important,” and she’ll pretend like she’s dropping the subject, stay quiet and wait for you to start talking. 

(Regina likes this too. She’s never been good at opening up. Normally, people ask too many questions.) 

_Four._

Regina likes that she’s even able to notice these things. 

(Previously, she was never able to feel this way about anybody, to wonder what somebody’s thinking, wonder how they feel about her. She had shut that part of herself off, thinking she didn’t deserve it. 

Even if Chelsea doesn’t reciprocate her feelings, she thinks for the first time it’s possible that she not only is able to love, but she is lovable too.) 

(Perhaps this is the first step to loving herself, perhaps the thought of loving somebody else, and the thought of them loving her back, shows her the beginnings of how to feel this way about herself.)

***

When Regina finally asks Chelsea out, they’re on one of their hundreds of _not-dates_ , as Damian and Cady call them at every chance they get. It’s been a year and a half, but Regina finds that time stands still when she’s with Chelsea. 

High-school Regina would roll her eyes at that statement, but this Regina just begs her heart not to stutter when Chelsea links their arms and pulls her toward the lake. They sit on the edge of the boardwalk, their feet dangling as they watch the lights of the city begin to turn on. The sun begins to set. 

(Regina takes it as a sign. Like the soft luminous boxes igniting in the distant, Chicago buildings are flickering a new part of her story into existence. The sun slips into the water, and it feels like everything she was is falling away.

She feels new.) 

“Go out with me,” Regina blurts out, looking over at Chelsea, at the way her eyes reflect the sunset. 

“I am out with you,” she teases back, and Regina blushes hard. 

“You know what I mean. It could be--” Regina swallows hard. This feels big. Monumental. Different. “Like a date.” 

Chelsea smiles, her thigh pressing against Regina’s. 

“I thought you would never ask me.” 

(Regina thinks about this moment non-stop for the next few years, the way Chelsea wrapped an arm around her neck and pulled her in for a hug, the way Chelsea kissed her good night. She thinks about this moment lying on the couch in the middle of the night watching movies with her. She thinks about it when she sees the way her clothes have their own drawer at Chelsea’s place. She thinks about this moment when things get hard. She thinks about this moment when--) 

***

She meets Chelsea’s family. 

True to her word, Chelsea is from a small town in California that she’s never heard of. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Regina tells her girlfriend’s parents, silencing the thoughts of her own father and mother, of Kylie and how her little sister cried when their parents split. 

For the first time, it’s easy to quell her jealousy. 

(Let us marvel at the way she has changed.)

The Michaelsons are accepting, another thing that does more to make Regina feel uncomfortable than welcomed. 

(She had grown accustomed to being what she was told to be. She had grown accustomed to saying hello to her father in his study because it was the _proper_ thing to do. 

Mrs. Michaelson asks her if she would like something to eat, and Regina doesn’t know what to say. 

Chelsea’s mother comes back with a full plate of food. 

Regina’s never eaten a full plate in a place that felt like home. 

She hesitates, then accepts it with a thank you.)

***

Another thing that Regina learns while staying in California is that Chelsea has a bit of a rebellious streak. 

It’s eleven at night when her girlfriend pokes her. Everyone else had gone to bed, and Chelsea’s dad had told them rather seriously that they were going fishing tomorrow and he would buckle them into the car himself if they didn’t wake up. 

“Yes?” Regina laughs, turning over and assuming that Chelsea just wants a kiss good night.

(She can’t remember laughing like this with anybody. 

_What’s happening to her?_

Maybe she should stop.) 

“Let’s drive to the beach! Watch the sunrise like that night,” she pleads, and Regina rubs the sleep from her eyes and gets out of bed. 

(Regina hesitates. Should she stop? 

It may be easier to get out now. 

She’s getting attached.

 _No,_ she tells herself. _Remember the windows. Remember the lights on the water._ )

“Fine. But you’re driving.”

(They watch the glimmer of the sun on the water again, just like the first time, and Regina kisses Chelsea into the sand.)

***

Chelsea teaches Regina’s heart to be rebellious. 

She is going to be a teacher after all, so it’s good practice. 

(Regina isn’t the best student in the world. It’s hard when you have zero experience in how to let yourself become somebody new.)

Regina learns how to say yes and no, how to allow her heart to sputter and stutter and start.

Chelsea takes a girl who was always told to be cautious, to be careful, because of her careless father, and she shows her what it means to go after what she wants with reckless abandon. 

***

“I’m not sure what I want anymore,” Regina says one day, staring out the window. 

They’ve been distant from each other, working too much for their own good, and Regina holds onto that memory of the windows and the lights and the sunset, but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough anymore. 

It feels like the sun is rising again. A new chapter. 

And Chelsea agrees. 

“I’m proud of you,” she says, her eyes slightly teary. “I love you. I’m glad I got to love you.” 

“I’m glad I got to love you too.”

(It’s freeing and shocking how easy those words fall off of her tongue.)

They relive that first night where they fell into each other’s embrace, and Chelsea kisses her goodbye in two weeks time. She points to Regina’s heart. 

“Don’t lose the little rebel you’ve got in there,” she says seriously. “Then at least I’ll know we were as good for each other as we could have been.” 

“I won’t.” 

She doesn’t. Regina thinks about her rebellious heart the rest of her life. She chases security guards down faster for quotes, takes more photos of wrongdoing. She writes faster, better, and it’s because of that little voice inside her that’s finally had the tape ripped off its mouth. 

A little voice that tells her she isn’t perfect. A little voice that tells her that she’s imperfect, and that that’s even better. 

Chelsea is the one who shows her how to say how she feels, about what it means to hold something beautiful in your hands and learn how to not break it.

(Regina tells her that she’s going to be a kickass teacher, and Chelsea laughs. 

“Can’t wait to come back here and see you running that little paper one day.”

Regina grins, placing Chelsea’s last bag into the trunk of her car.

“Me neither. Now, go. Some kids needs you."

The kindness in her words feels so easy that Regina doesn't even think about it.)

***

This is a story about how Forever can’t happen on the first try. You need to practice first. 

The next few years, the next few easy loves will be exactly that. Regina isn’t ready. She knows that.

Her whole life has been made up of almosts. She needs to figure out how to make that not so on her own. 

She’s getting there.

For the first time, Regina feels like if someone were to shatter her, she could collect the pieces. 

Maybe not put them back together. But she would be able to find all the little shards. 

Regina learns the first ways to love herself is to listen to herself, to that little voice that used to suspiciously sound like her first love, but as the days go on it starts to sound more and more like herself. 

Let us call this the first chapter of Regina’s lifelong ache for absolution, for redemption.

Let us call this the first time Regina feels like she can get there on her own if she has to. 

Let us call this one step closer to finding her Forever. 

**Author's Note:**

> what did you think? did you have a favorite line/part? let me know below!
> 
> it makes my day when somebody drops a comment or a kudo :)
> 
> as always, i'm @ifthebookdoesntsell on tumblr. come yell at me!


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